Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
