dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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