508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
