Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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