He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
