Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I have post one night stand depression
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
