we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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