just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize