Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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