we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
