Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Randomize
