he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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