i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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