I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
