At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
can u get pink eye on your cock?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
