You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
