I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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