that's an acceptable place to lick
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
