Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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