I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
birth control should be required to get into college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize