Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
