Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I could fuck to npr.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
