i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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