About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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