nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
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I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
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