I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize