You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
