omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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