omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
His hands were made for my vagina.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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