I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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