this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
this boner is exhausting
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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