wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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