Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
