How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
The struggles of a small town man whore
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
