Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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