after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Sext me about skeletons
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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