Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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