your thong is hanging out like whoa
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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