Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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