I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Liz is crying about burritos again.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
