Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
