Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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