I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
