Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
