I'm gonna have a badass scar
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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