none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
