Me. At least after what I've been through.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
