The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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