i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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