I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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