worst night to have a conscience
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize