honey bunches of taint.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
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