I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
