i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
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Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
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I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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