I'm really into asian looking animals
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
