its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I just gift wrapped bread.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
